> 101 ways to get your friends to buy See The Star
| 1 | weaponry |
| 2 | Bribery |
| 3 | Begging |
| 4 | Threats |
| 5 | Not by might, nor by power... |
| 6 | Sing it tunelessly for the next three weeks, so they have to buy it to find out what it really sounds like |
| 7 | Threaten to paint their room brown :) |
| 8 | actually paint their room brown. (It might help?!) |
| 9 | Sing the first line... stop, for a little while pretend to forget the rest and sing the first line again, repeat until they promise to go and get it as soon as it's out |
| 10 | sing all the wrong words, and insist you are right, thus forcing them to buy the single to prove you wrong |
| 11 | play it at your cu meeting the Wednesday after it comes out (worked for WRD!) |
| 12 | play it through the heating ducts in you hall of residence, and get everyone subconsciously familiar with it |
| 13 | Record yourself singing it, put it onto CD/tape and replace every CD in your house with it. Only return them when the promise to buy it! |
| 14 | Threaten to stick your sticker on their foreheads unless they buy it |
| 15 | make brass rubbings of glow in the dark stars, and stick them all round college |
| 16 | blackmail |
| 17 | redmail |
| 18 | |
| 19 | By saying, 'yes, you can borrow my essay to copy on one condition: that you buy the next delirious? single on March 15th'. (True life story) |
| 20 | study to become a hairdresser, become a hairdresser, start to talk about delirious?, threaten to cut their ear off unless they buy it |
| 21 | Same as above, but change 'Hairdresser' for 'heart surgeon', and 'ear' for any part of the body |
| 22 | graffiti |
| 23 | slip copies into people's pockets as they leave the music store; the alarm will sound and they'll be made to buy it ; ) |
| 24 | poke their eyes out ... no reason |
| 25 | from now until March 15th converse only using the following words:- 'delirious' 'see' 'the' 'star' then everyone will wonder what you are talking about, become so interested in finding out and but the single as a source of insight |
| 26 | More practically. Use the above words as exclamations |
| 27 | Hypnosis? |
| 28 | Force them to do something they really hate unless they buy STS straightaway |
| 29 | Get Tony Blair to publicly endorse it (hey, that would be *one* useful thing out of him!) |
| 30 | Replace all the singles in the music store with copies of STS |
| 31 | Get William Hague to publicly endorse it. Wait, scratch that, we want to *help* the band! |
| 32 | Advertise it in all of your e-mail signatures |
| 33 | see the delirious? star the delirious? see star delirious? the see star star star!! (see no.25) |
| 34 | nagging |
| 35 | more nagging |
| 36 | even more nagging |
| 37 | promise them that spurious won't turn brown |
| 38 | get your friend who works at Virgin to refuse to serve punters unless they buy a copy |
| 39 | violence |
| 40 | lend them your maths homework in exchange for a promise they buy BOTH singles |
| 41 | tell them it's really good |
| 42 | lie if you have to |
| 43 | pretend they're famous |
| 44 | say one of them had a ginger goatee to be proud of |
| 45 | Show them this list |
| 46 | say it's out tomorrow |
| 47 | yet more nagging |
| 48 | so much more nagging that they get fed up |
| 49 | Point out that an anagram of 'See The Star' is 'Star The See' |
| 50 | Point out that an anagram of 'See The Star' is 'Shart-Steee' |
| 51 | Point out that an anagram of 'See The Star' is 'Tarts he see' |
| 52 | Point out that an anagram of 'See The Star' is 'Stare, Seeth' |
| 53 | Point out that an anagram of 'See The Star' is 'Tsar-E-Seeth' |
| 54 | Point out that an anagram of 'See The Star' is 'Oh I'm running out of ideas' |
| 55 | Point out that an anagram of 'See The Star' is 'just buy the stupid single' |
| 56 | Tell them we're over halfway |
| 57 | Say they've got a new logo |
| 58 | Lie |
| 59 | More lies |
| 60 | Even more lies |
| 61 | Humm the chorus |
| 62 | Talk about nothing else all day on the 15th |
| 63 | Sneak out of school when you're not supposed to to buy your copies |
| 64 | Buy hundreds of copies and then just give them away |
| 65 | Go into your local music shop and take every copy of sts they have and put one in front of every Robbie Williams and B*Witched single they have |
| 66 | Remove the competition - kill B*Witched, and Robbie Williams |
| 67 | Chain yourself to the place where sts is being sold, and yell, 'get this single!' |
| 68 | Point out that an anagram of 'Mezzamorphis' is 'Zam! Morph! Size!' |
| 69 | Say you won't shower for a year until they buy it |
| 70 | Say you won't brush your teeth for a year until they buy it |
| 71 | Say you'll send Scooby round to deal with them |
| 72 | When they laugh at that, point out he has a ginger question mark |
| 73 | Ask them why they're still laughing |
| 74 | Say they're going to be on the telly with Melinda Messinger |
| 75 | Say it's Melinda's last show, and they've chosed delirious? to be commemorative |
| 76 | Point out that they end their name with a question mark |
| 77 | Tell them the puzzler do you ask a question delirious?? and only tell them the answer when they've bought the single |
| 78 | Set them a text to recite the lyrics, or you'll do something unpleasant with a baked bean to them |
| 79 | Point out you're 79/101th of the way to completing the list |
| 80 | Apologise for completing the list on your own, but you thought it had better be done because it's out tomorrow |
| 81 | Say that there's a CD-ROM video |
| 82 | Point out that an anagram of 'delirious?' is 'Dire Lis IOU?' |
| 83 | Say it has a remix of Obsession that's been called 'understated' |
| 84 | Say Jon did it, but he'd rather no-one knew as he'd like to pass it of as a bloke on drugs |
| 85 | Say it as a Sts remix on it that's been called an 'UNKLE' vibe |
| 86 | Apologise for the poor maths to follow |
| 99 | Realise you're nearly there so can go and have breakfast soon, looking for media articles about delirious? that they promised would be there but aren't. Grrrr. (Media articles will make people buy sts) |
| 100 | Give up ever making them buy it, and just get a copy for yourself. |
| 101 | Do a Mrs Doyle. If 'Ah Ya will' doesn't work, try a 'Gowan' |